Latrice Royale:

My phone rang, and it was my mom. And she was like, "Baby, I had no idea what was in this box. I was like, 'Why did he send me all these pictures of this beautiful woman? Who is this?' And then I put in the tape, and I was able to see you are so beautiful. You are so classy. Oh, my goodness. I'm so proud of you." And I just broke down crying because I was like, "That is all I ever wanted to hear."

Tyler Greene:

Hi, there, and welcome to This Is My Family, the podcast about building a life with the people you love. I'm your host, Tyler Greene. You also just heard Latrice Royale, one of the most famous drag queens in the world. She's my guest this week.

Tyler Greene:

Last week you heard my story, how my husband and I met, and how we had our son, Sam. Go check that out if you haven't yet. And as my family grows, I realized it isn't something you just have. A family is something you make, people you choose. So, I started this podcast because I want to explore the beautiful, messy ways other people make their families and the ways our families make us.

Tyler Greene:

Family means something different to every person, and, at a time when we are so divided, this show exists to highlight and celebrate those differences, to lean in with empathy and learn together how fascinating people from all walks of life build a life with the people they love.

Tyler Greene:

The TV show RuPaul's Drag Race made Latrice Royale famous. On the reality competition, drag queens share their origin stories, their coming out stories. And Latrice became a fan favorite for her being unapologetic and honest about her struggles as a child growing up in Compton and her difficult family relationships. She is complicated, and fabulous, and a fierce advocate for being yourself, which is powerful for adult queer folks like me and an even more powerful example for young queer folks, who watch her and feel less alone.

Latrice Royale:

I'm Latrice, so of course, I stomped it on out, and I'm giving big girl sexy, showing all my curves and swerves, and give a little face, give a little attitude.

Tyler Greene:

That's the voice that America has fallen in love with. She's truly magic, isn't she? But there was a time before this Latrice Royale was born. Offstage, Latrice Royale is Timothy Wilcots, a gay man who grew up in Compton. So, we started our conversation there with the story of Timothy and his family of origin.

Latrice Royale:

It was an interesting, very tumultuous childhood, actually. I grew up in Compton. If you don't know where that is geographically, that is East Los Angeles County, and it is really rough, especially back in my day, heavily gang violence around. My brothers were involved in gangs. My dad was abusive to my mother, and so when she had enough, she put an end to that.

Latrice Royale:

So, they separated. I think I was at the age of five when they separated, and they divorced years later. However, my dad was not in my life very much, and I resented him a lot. So, I was definitely a mama's boy. I was the baby. I was the last of her five boys that she had, and I knew I was different. And she always called me her special child.

Latrice Royale:

So, I grew up in a very different time. And so my brothers are much older than me. The closest one is nine years, and then it goes on up from there. They were already into girls in high school and stuff when I came along, so it was like I was the little bratty brother. In Compton, you're in the gang, or you go to the military, but there's no time for you being gay, so it was hard.

Tyler Greene:

Two of your brothers, at least ... When you say they were in the gang, they were running the gang, right?

Latrice Royale:

Yeah, they were running it. So, I saw a lot of blood, and gunshot wounds, and stab wounds, and drugs, and money, and none of it was mine. Of course, that was all during the time when my mom was working two jobs, so she was very seldom home. And when she was home, she was resting. So, once I got old enough to take care of myself, I would be home alone, and my brothers would do what they do while my mom was at work, you know?

Tyler Greene:

Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah.

Latrice Royale:

Yeah.

Tyler Greene:

Yeah. I want to zoom in on your mom. She called you her special child. I think I listened to an interview where you said she knew you had a little sugar in your tank.

Latrice Royale:

Oh, yeah.

Tyler Greene:

Tell me more about her. What was her story? What was she like?

Latrice Royale:

Well, Shirley was a strong-willed, Black, hard-working mama who was no-nonsense. She was a God-fearing woman, and her faith was everything. As I got more active in the church and the church became my life ... I was on the usher board. I was in the choir. You name it. I was there. So, her faith started to grow stronger, and she was a God-fearing woman.

Latrice Royale:

So, if you weren't at church and didn't believe in God, there was going to be some problems. But she always taught me about love and compassion early on and acceptance of people that are different than you. There was always someone living with us, someone who was down and out and needed a place to stay. We always had somebody staying with us. It might be two months. It might be a year.

Latrice Royale:

It was like my mother just did not know how to say no. You weren't going to go hungry, and you weren't going to be homeless. So, she taught me a lot about that, and people took advantage of her kindness, of course, you know? But she put it in God's hands, she says. And God's got it. And she just kept on doing what she did and led with her heart.

Latrice Royale:

So, that's why I am who I am. That's why I love the way I love, and I'm compassionate and empathetic to people and try to see all sides of people's story.

Tyler Greene:

So, you have four brothers.

Latrice Royale:

Yep.

Tyler Greene:

And the way that I understand them is that two of them were running the gang, so to speak, and the other two eventually joined the military. So, there's this sort of difference in how they branched out.

Latrice Royale:

Yeah.

Tyler Greene:

I just have a curiosity just about who are they, and how did maybe that happen?

Latrice Royale:

Well, Harold was my eldest brother, and he went into the army. I didn't get a chance to experience him very much. He died when I was very young. It's amazing to see that this country doesn't take care of their veterans the way they should, but he came back pretty screwed up. He knew I was special, but he protected me.

Latrice Royale:

And then Curtis, who is still alive, who's my oldest living brother now, went into the military, and he had been my, basically, my father figure. He's the one I looked up to the most. He was the one that was the most stable and showed me what family was. He's still married to his wife that he was married to them with his kids and now grandkids and great-grandkids, which is crazy because now, I'm a great, great uncle. So crazy, right?

Tyler Greene:

I was going to ask you earlier. Are you, Uncle Latrice?

Latrice Royale:

I am.

Tyler Greene:

Yes. That's amazing.

Latrice Royale:

But that was my only role model as far as what family stability was. Through all their trials and tribulations, they are still, and I mean still together. And it brings me great joy because I lived with them during my last two years of high school because I had to get away. And so, I finished high school living with Curtis and Deborah, and they just allowed me to be a teenager. They allowed me to make decisions.

Latrice Royale:

Great influences there, and then Darnell, who was ... That was the ring leader right there. Yeah, that's Darnell. Darnell, he ran my whole neighborhood. If you say his name around the neighborhood, everybody would be like, "Oh, oh, man, oh!" He's a legend. And it's ironic because he didn't die from gang violence. He died in a freak car accident at a stop sign.

Latrice Royale:

I got the phone call that he had gotten in an accident and was in the hospital and wasn't looking good. And I got from downtown L.A. all the way to Martin Luther King Hospital, which is in Compton, in about 20 minutes with traffic. That's impossible, but I did it. And my mom and I got there. I dropped her off in the front to let her out to go in while I went to go park, and when I got done parking and I was coming into the lobby, my entire family were there already.

Latrice Royale:

Oh, I'm going to get emotional, but somebody had to tell me because no one wanted to tell me that my brother was dead. And so, I didn't get to say goodbye, and so I went through this horrible ... It was a horrible time of not accepting it. I was completely in denial because he had promised me he was going to take me school shopping. It happened June of '88. And he was going to take me school shopping for the fall. And I kept saying, "No, he's going to come. He's going to come." And oh, it was a mess. I took that very hard.

Tyler Greene:

Yeah. You left California, right, eventually?

Latrice Royale:

Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

Tyler Greene:

So, when did that happen and why?

Latrice Royale:

It was 1991. I was teaching color guard at the high school that I had graduated from. So, that's what I'd been doing. I had not come out yet. I had not even come to terms with the whole idea of being gay. I did have a gay friend who was open and older than me, who I was hanging around and learning from, and he had rented some movies. Back in the day when-

Tyler Greene:

Disney movies?

Latrice Royale:

Yeah. You know, back in the day when you had to go to the store and go to the little back room with the curtain. You know the one. Uh-huh.

Tyler Greene:

I do.

Latrice Royale:

So, I didn't know what was in the bag, but he was like, "Look, I don't want to wait until my mom is asleep because I don't want her asking me what's in this bag, so can you hold this at your house until later tonight?" I was like, "Sure." So I had put it under my bed. I have a drawer, like the bed with the drawers. So, I pulled out the drawer. I put the bag underneath the drawer and put the drawer back in and went on back about my business.

Latrice Royale:

And then come to find out that my bother had been rummaging through my room, found the videos, thought they were mine.

Tyler Greene:

Underneath the drawer?

Latrice Royale:

Underneath. That means you were snooping.

Tyler Greene:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Latrice Royale:

Snooping 100%. Then, after dinner, he was just like, "You know your son's a faggot." And I was looking around like, "Who you talking about?" And he just started going off like, "I found those movies in your room, you faggot-ass," and this and this. And called me all-

Tyler Greene:

This is Scooby?

Latrice Royale:

Yes. Mm-hmm (affirmative). Called me all kind of names. And so then it escalated. We got physical, started fighting. My mother's crying, trying to break us up. It was a whole big thing. And I wasn't taking no more, so I fought back. But it was upsetting my mother, so I ran out of the house, walked down to my friend's house. And I made a phone call to one of my color guard friends, and they made arrangements for me to move to march a color guard in Wisconsin. And I had bought me a one-way ticket, and came home, and left that night, and never looked back.

Tyler Greene:

Wow. I didn't realize those were so closely linked, those two moments. I mean, they were the same thing, coming out and leaving.

Latrice Royale:

Yep. Well, being outed and leaving.

Tyler Greene:

Being outed and leaving.

Latrice Royale:

Yeah.

Tyler Greene:

Exactly.

Latrice Royale:

And I still went through a whole, basically a whole year of staying in the closet still. I was scared. I don't know why. I was with people who gave me full permission. I was living with a gay couple and another female roommate, but, for some reason, I still just didn't feel like it was okay. So, it wasn't until I moved to Florida that I was like, "Hey, I'm gay!" Yeah.

Tyler Greene:

Yeah. I mean, I grew up in a small town in the Midwest. It took me 22 years to come out, but there's not a lot of exposure. I think there was one person who I sort of was like, "Oh." But I don't even think I knew what it meant.

Latrice Royale:

No, not really. Mind you, Midwest, yeah. That's exactly where I was. I was in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. You don't get no more Midwest than that.

Tyler Greene:

No, you don't.

Latrice Royale:

Hello! Somebody.

Tyler Greene:

I was downright metropolitan in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Latrice Royale:

Oh, Hell, you was up in it. They got night clubs there. No, not in Eau Claire, darling. No.

Tyler Greene:

Oh, my God. That's awesome. I was in marching band too, so I was-

Latrice Royale:

Oh, so you know about color guard and stuff. Okay, well ...

Tyler Greene:

I played trumpet. I was one of those snobs.

Latrice Royale:

Oh. First, second chair?

Tyler Greene:

It's funny that you mention first, second chair because it was me and my friend, Penny. We were back and forth first and second chair the whole time. Actually, the entire trumpet section is now gay, but none of us were out.

Latrice Royale:

No!

Tyler Greene:

No, and none of us were doing anything together. Literally, first through fifth chair.

Latrice Royale:

That is crazy.

Tyler Greene:

And I'm not even the gayest.

Tyler Greene:

Timothy moved from Wisconsin to Miami, and it didn't take long for his friends to push him to start doing drag shows there. His new queer family helped him find wigs and dresses, and that's how Latrice Royale was born. This process and the families that form around the art of drag is why I wanted to talk to a drag queen.

Tyler Greene:

This show is, of course, all about families and how we build them, how they shape us. So, I asked Latrice to be our guide and explain how drag families work, starting with how you find your drag mother.

Latrice Royale:

When you are young, and you're wayward or getting kicked out, or you're being outed, whatever, and exiled from your family, usually your community picks you up, and there's a matriarchal person who takes you under their wing, and shows you the ropes, and teaches you about the community and who your tribe is. And usually, that's who you call your mother.

Latrice Royale:

It does not necessarily mean that the mother does drag, but the mother is the matriarch of the household. And then you have the drag family where you are just learning how to do drag, and you don't have anyone to show you the ropes. And then you have this mother, who steps in and teaches you makeup, and the business, and how to be polished, and the ins and outs of what it takes to be an awesome drag queen. And that becomes your drag mother.

Latrice Royale:

And then, of course, you get your aunties because that's my sister, so that's your child. Okay, that's my auntie. Just like the regular family tree, it just spirals on out. I had my tubes tied a long time ago, so I don't have ... I am the favorite auntie, honey. I ain't got time for Bébé's Kids.

Tyler Greene:

That is a reference I know. Oh, my God. I haven't thought of Bébé's Kids in 25 years. That's amazing. I mean, there's lots of love. That's how I read those.

Latrice Royale:

And that's what it boils down to, lots of love.

Tyler Greene:

So, for your drag mother, you had one initially, but then you have somebody you really refer to as ...

Latrice Royale:

Yes, I had who I thought was going to be my drag mother, where it was the opposite that was happening. The mother was a hot mess, and I had it together, and she would stay with me. But she was the one that first initially put me up in drag. She showed me that my cheekbones were lovely.

Latrice Royale:

But then, when I was looking for her to be there, she was a hot mess and didn't show up for me, and left me hanging, stole from me. It was a mess. So, that relationship was abolished. But the one who I consider my drag mother to this day, her name is Tiffany Arieagus. I started off, like I said, at the Copa. She was the host of the contest. She would give me pointers on how to improve, and teach me the business, and who to watch out for, and to count your tips as they give them to you. You tuck the 20s over here, keep the ones over here, down to every detail.

Latrice Royale:

And now, it's just so wonderful because my life has taken off, and my career has taken off, and she is so honored to be considered now my mom. Because she was one of those, "I ain't your mama. I'm your sister, girl. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." But I'm her only child. I only got one kid. She only got one kid.

Tyler Greene:

Do you all talk regularly now?

Latrice Royale:

Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Absolutely. We've checked in throughout this pandemic. Not as much as we should, but definitely keep tabs and keeping in touch for sure.

Tyler Greene:

So, you're building this drag family, this big career, and this is pre-Drag Race. But how is your family of origin relating to this?

Latrice Royale:

The one thing that I'm most happy and proud that I was able to do was to share what I do with my mom before she passed. And it was another layer of coming out of the closet again because I'm about to reveal something that I've not told her.

Latrice Royale:

Our conversations would be great but not full-on like we used to be because I was always holding something that I felt like I couldn't talk to her about. There was a part of me that she was not able to get to know. And so, finally, I had enough, and I was like, "You know what? I'm going to send my mother a care package." And I got my business cards. I had made a video, a little compilation of performances. And I shipped it off to her.

Latrice Royale:

And I didn't hear back for a while. And my phone rang, and it was my mom. And she was like, "Baby, I had no idea what was in this box. I was like, 'Why did he send me all these pictures of this beautiful woman? Who is this?' And then I put in the tape. I was able to see you are so beautiful. You are so classy. Oh, my goodness, I'm so proud of you." And I just broke down crying because I was like, "That is all I ever wanted to hear."

Latrice Royale:

And she understood my art. And she was like, "What I'm going to need you to do now is send me some hair because you know I love me some wigs." And so, that became our bond again. We were back in full effect, and I was able to send her some wigs and style her some hair and stuff. That's the bond that I had been missing with my mom, and was able to do that. Yeah, I was so glad.

Tyler Greene:

Yeah, I have to say. For people who are listening out there who don't have that bond with their parents, I was really lucky. My dad, just I said, "I'm gay," over the phone. I was in London and studying. And he's like, "Okay. Yeah, what did you have for dinner?" It's like that acceptance and then that curiosity of also my career. I was a theater director in my 20s, and he just was so supportive of that.

Tyler Greene:

So, when you have that acceptance from that person that you care the most about, I mean ... And sometimes, people don't get it from their biological sort of family of origin, right?

Latrice Royale:

Correct. That's correct. And this is why we reach out to our community, and that's why you have your drag sisters and your drag brothers and everything. You choose your family, and a great majority of my life, I got through it with my chosen family because I had left my blood family.

Latrice Royale:

And when I look back and think about what I could have done different and my response to things, I just didn't have the tools. I did what I felt was necessary based on the knowledge that I had and experiences that I had. So, that was my justification for leaving and not looking back. I was like, "Well, if you're not going to love me, I'm going to go find people who will accept me." And I did, and I did a great job of that, and I have no regrets.

Tyler Greene:

After the break, I talk to Latrice about one of the most difficult chapters of her life so far. Stay with us.

Tyler Greene:

Hey, friends. One of the first podcasts that featured this story of how my family began to take shape was the one and only Risk, hosted by Kevin Allison. Risk is the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share in public. Since 2009, Risk has been featuring some of the most intimate, most radically honest, first-person story-telling you'll find anywhere.

Tyler Greene:

People of all walks of life have come out about hilarious, moving, and sometimes extremely challenging experiences they lived through and transcended, the kinds of jaw-dropping stories people normally share with their therapist and the kind of show that listeners say changed their lives. So be sure to listen to Risk at risk-show.com or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, back to the show.

Tyler Greene:

As Latrice's stage career started to take off in Miami, she got into a little trouble with the law. She was pulled over by a cop, had some weed and a prescription pill, and ended up in jail. And it was while she was locked up that she got a phone call she was not expecting.

Latrice Royale:

They're like, "Wilcots, you have a phone call." It's like, "Who's calling me here?" So I got down there. It was my brother, Curtis. And I was just like, "Whoa!" He was like, "You hard to find." I was like, "Well, now you know where I'm at." So, there you go.

Latrice Royale:

But he had checked every hospital, jail, morgue, mortuary, whatever from Key West all the way up the coast of Florida just to try to figure out where I was. And finally, he found me. And he was letting me know that my mother was in the hospital and wasn't doing so well. And I was taken aback. And he was like, "Yeah, she's had cancer for years and didn't tell a soul. And now, she's unresponsive, and the doctors had expected her to go a week ago, and for some reason, she won't let go. And she's just holding on."

Latrice Royale:

And he was literally at her bedside when he called me and told me that I needed to say my goodbyes because he believes that she's only holding on to talk to me, to hear my voice. And so, of course, I was hysterical, and he was like, "I need you to pull it together because we don't have a lot of time for this. You can cry later, but right now, I'm going to need you to buck up and talk to your mom."

Latrice Royale:

And so, I got on the phone, and that was hard. It was hard to talk to her and act like everything was okay and like I was in good spirits. Obviously, you don't want to let her know on her dying bed I'm in jail. I tried to keep it light and let her know that I was becoming a star, and I was going to be somebody she's going to be really proud of one day. You never know if she's going to have a superstar on her hands.

Latrice Royale:

And I got done talking, and my brother was telling me that her whole expression had changed on her face, that she definitely could hear me and knew it was me, and that she looked like she was at peace. He told me he would call me and keep me posted. And then the next morning, I get a phone call very early in the morning to go back. And by this time, the entire staff knows what's happening, what's going on with me.

Latrice Royale:

And so, they escorted me down, and it was my brother again. And he was letting me know that he was correct in that she just needed to hear from her baby. And then she had passed 20 minutes ago. So, she was able to let go and be at peace, but it was the most hurtful experience ever. I just felt, at that point, like what next? I was just angry. I was mad, and I was mad at myself. I was beating myself up mostly, and the guilt that I felt.

Latrice Royale:

I knew that it was my fault that I was here. Had I taken care of my responsibilities, I wouldn't be in this position. And I just didn't do that. So now, I'm in this situation, and they won't let me go see my mother. So, that was a hard pill to swallow. I had to just live with it for a while until I was able to accept that it was going to be okay and that she was going to be by my side all the time. So, she is. I know she is.

Tyler Greene:

And during this particular period of time, before you get out of prison, we talked about your chosen and queer families earlier, and I'm wondering, how did they show up for you during this time?

Latrice Royale:

Oh, my goodness. They, whew, went about and beyond, rallied the entire community on my behalf and had benefits and fundraisers for me while I was in jail so that when I got out, I would have some startup money. I was only in behind the gate for six months. I did an additional nine months in work release, so my friend Tim, he was the only one that had it pulled together where he could be my sponsor. And he was next of kin that I had here in Florida.

Latrice Royale:

I was able to go home on furlough, and he would sew Latrice costumes when we got together and get her wardrobe, so I had something to start off on, my little drag starter kit when I got out. And yeah, he bought my boy clothes so I could go on job interviews, and really, I had nothing. Yeah, that's family.

Tyler Greene:

Drag Race skyrocketed Latrice's career. She opened up to the world about her story, growing up in Compton, later being in prison, her love for her mother, all of it. And people could not get enough. Since Drag Race, Latrice has toured the world with the one-woman show called Here's to Life, which chronicles a lot of what we've talked about so far.

Tyler Greene:

And she also made a documentary called Gays in Prison. And there's a scene in that documentary where her brother Scooby violently Chokes Timothy in the front yard of their childhood home. Scooby got to see that story unfold on his TV from Latrice's perspective, and it changed him. Latrice brought her one-woman show, Here's to Life, to the Rockwell in Los Angeles. And much to her surprise, Scooby showed up.

Latrice Royale:

And so, I didn't expect him to be at the show. My cousins, I knew all the girls was coming. My cousins and my sister-in-law was all coming. Did not know he was going to be there until he was there. And I didn't know if I was going to be ready because I'm going to tell my story. Here's to Life is definitely an autobiography of accounts of my life, and I shared the story about my tumultuous relationship with my brother.

Latrice Royale:

And he had to sit there and listen to it live. But, at the end of the day, I was able to stand him up in the audience and say, "And today, ladies and gentlemen, that very brother is right here, watching me." And they all came up. My whole family came up to the stage. We had a big ol' cry, hug, come to Jesus moment, and he got on the microphone and told everybody how much he loved me, and how proud he is of me, and how I am a spitting image of his mother.

Latrice Royale:

I felt like I had a family again. For the first time in my life, I had a family. And so, God answers prayers I'll just say that. And everything wiped away. You cannot not forgive. You do it for you, mostly, but it was just like the weight was lifted.

Tyler Greene:

The weight of that separation was lifted, and Latrice told me she wouldn't have had the strength to do any of that without her husband, Christopher. They met at an autograph signing after a live show.

Latrice Royale:

I was booked in Knoxville. That's where he's from. And he came to the show just like any other fan to see me. I was the second guest. They really didn't have a lot of experience with visitors. Meet and greet was a shit show, to say the least. He didn't want to have a bad reputation for Knoxville, so he stepped up and started taking pictures for the patrons, and kind of getting an orderly line going so we have a flow, and running it. And it started going wonderful.

Latrice Royale:

Throughout that time, I started flirting and dropping my Sharpie. And he'd bend over to pick it up. And I dropped it again, so I can get a better look. So, I was like, "What?!" And then I invited him back to hang out later on. He kept saying, "I have to work in the morning. I have to work in the morning." It wasn't computing. It was like, "Work? Morning? Work? Morning? It is morning. Work?-

Tyler Greene:

People do that in the morning?

Latrice Royale:

... On a Sunday? On a Sunday? What? Work?" Because he's a musical director at his church, the MCC church. So, he had to play the service and be there, and da, da, da, da. So, wasn't he a good ol' wholesome boy? You see that? At the church, you see?

Tyler Greene:

Yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Latrice Royale:

But he a heathen because we were at the club the night before, so I know how those work too.

Tyler Greene:

I was going to say, I had a similar thing with my husband when I met him. I was like, "He's very innocent." But he was coming from the leather bar.

Latrice Royale:

See, that's a bar. Mm-hmm (affirmative). It's the sides. It's them sides you got to watch. Still waters run deep, as my mother always says. So, we were gentlemen. We talked the entire night, and I knew I was trouble then because, "Oh, Lord. Here we go." And we've been together ever since.

Tyler Greene:

Timothy and Christopher had a gorgeous wedding a couple of years ago. You can see photos online, and I highly recommend you look for them. A lot of dreams have come true for these two. I asked what else they dream about for their future together, like any chance they'll be little Latrices running around?

Latrice Royale:

No. Nope. I before E, but he got your mouth [inaudible 00:32:16] Nope.

Tyler Greene:

Smart.

Latrice Royale:

No, but really our dream is to have a little fur baby one day. But I aspire to grow, continue to grow with him, and as he develops his artistry ... he has a single out and a video ... I want to help him hone in his dreams and crafts because he's been supporting me and helping me throughout this entire time. So, yeah.

Tyler Greene:

Do you have a relationship now with your brothers and the biological family, your biological family?

Latrice Royale:

Absolutely, I can't even tell you how thrilled I am. They just called a couple days ago because of our anniversary, and oh, to hear Curtis and Deborah on the phone, they were like, "Happy anniversary. Where the time ... " Because they're the one who pushed us at it. They made us pick a date. They were the ones that were like, "What's taking so long? What's the hold-up?" Why you ain't got no house? What's going on?" Everything that has been adulting about us has been because of my brother and sister-in-law.

Latrice Royale:

They have been very giving me knowledge, dropping knowledge on me, and I'm looking at their lives as examples because they're doing it, and they're still together! So they're like, "Keep it up. Two years in, y'all. Keep it up. You going to be just like us, 40 years." I was like, "40 years." Come on. And that's goals.

Tyler Greene:

It's unbelievable to me.

Latrice Royale:

Goals.

Tyler Greene:

So beautiful.

Latrice Royale:

Yeah.

Tyler Greene:

And what about Scooby?

Latrice Royale:

Scooby's great too. I talked to him the other day. It's wonderful to be able to just call your brother and realize that with his wife and his family, and they are so ... talk about a 180 switch ... supportive and loving, and accepts my husband, and walked down the aisle. First one down the aisle at my wedding. So, it was like I know my mother, if she were alive, she would be like ... I know she's just overjoyed right now, and I'm emotional because the one and only thing she ever wanted was for her boys to come together, and she never got to see it.

Latrice Royale:

But we have come together, finally. But it took a lot of growth, a lot of tears, a lot of me sharing my story and letting them know how they affected me growing up. And so, yeah. So now, I'm sharing it with the world.

Tyler Greene:

Yeah, well, thank you for that.

Latrice Royale:

I didn't know I was coming here to cry.

Tyler Greene:

I guess the last thing I want to just talk about here is the fans, right? So, where do you place them in the wider drag family that we've been building here and talking about?

Latrice Royale:

Well, the fans, the ones that I consider fans, those are the supporters, the ones who build you up, who are there in the not-so-good times, who keep you focused and remind you who you are as an artist. Those are fans, and I am forever grateful for my Royale Court because those are the ones who block out the hate for me. I don't have to do much work, whether it's my guardian angels or my angels that are here, my cyber angels. You're not going to talk bad about my Latrice. That's the way they are.

Latrice Royale:

But what I stand for, I stand for right and righteousness. So, if you're not about that, then yeah, no, I'm not your cup of tea. If you are a hater, then no, I'm not your cup of tea.

Tyler Greene:

Is there a fan that you think of that had made it really worthwhile for you?

Latrice Royale:

Well, I get so many. You have to know. It's so global now. And I was able to tour Here's to Life, basically all over the world so far. And being able to share that story and then have the fans relate and they realize that their problems aren't as great as they could be and that if I could get through it, they can get through it. And so, giving people hope and faith that if you stay strong and work, you can overcome anything. And don't be a victim to your circumstances.

Latrice Royale:

So, I stand by that. And I was never a victim of my circumstances. I was always victorious over my opposition. So, here we are.

Tyler Greene:

Here we are. I really appreciate you and all the goodness that you put into the world. And I'm just very grateful.

Latrice Royale:

Well, I appreciate you as well. Thank you so much for having me.

Tyler Greene:

At live drag race shows, the producers usually save Latrice Royale for last. She always gets the biggest applause, everybody's favorite auntie. Not a single soul stays seated when she hits the stage, or when she leaves it, for that matter. People talk a lot about self-love these days. Latrice Royale is a model of that for me.

Tyler Greene:

RuPaul famously says at the end of every episode ...

RuPaul:

If you can't love yourself, how in the Hell are you going to love somebody else?

Tyler Greene:

I've often wished I learned that phrase a little sooner myself. And I think that's why people stand up for Latrice. They want to thank someone who shows them how it's done, who gives us an example of what it means to love yourself, and, in turn, those around you.

Tyler Greene:

Latrice did not have to talk to little old me, especially in the middle of a global pandemic. I'm sure she has plenty of things to do, but I'm so glad she did. I will never forget that afternoon, talking to one of the most incredible people on the planet in my closet.

Tyler Greene:

Yes, the irony of recording in the closet is also not lost on me, or really anyone who's queer and has a podcast these days. As soon as the interview was over, I left my podcast closet to rush downstairs to introduce my husband and son, Sam, to Latrice.

Tyler Greene:

What do you think?

Sam:

[inaudible 00:38:20].

Tyler Greene:

Yeah, sort of close.

Latrice Royale:

Oh, my goodness.

Sam:

[Baby talk].

Latrice Royale:

You giving me some cookies?

Tyler Greene:

Can you say hi? Can you say hi to Latrice? Oh, baby. Nice job. Ah.

Latrice Royale:

Okay, so now you all-

Tyler Greene:

Now, Sam can say forever the first drag queen I ever met was Latrice Royale. Thank me later, son.

Tyler Greene:

Your homework this week is to reach out to us on social media. We are @timfshow on all the platforms, or you can email me tyler@timfshow.com. I would love to hear how you define family for yourself.

Tyler Greene:

On next week's episode, we'll be talking about complicated caretakers and the idea of forgiveness with Peabody Award-winning poet J. Ivy.

J. Ivy:

Our parents, they aren't these indestructible superheroes that we make them out to be because, I mean, for so long, we were small, and they were big. And we're always looking up, constantly looking up, looking up, looking up, looking up.

Tyler Greene:

Thank you so much for listening to This Is My Family. You can find Latrice Royale at latriceroyale.com or, of course, on all the social media platforms. Be sure to add her podcast to your rotation. She cohosts a drag race recap show called The Chop with fellow drag queen, Manila Luzon.

Tyler Greene:

As I said before, you can find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @timfshow. Our website is timfshow.com. And, when you're there, please subscribe to our newsletter. We'll be giving early access to episodes and other goodies like cute photos of my son, Sam, to our subscribers.

Tyler Greene:

This podcast is a production of the storyproducer.com, and it's produced by me, Tricia Bobeda, and Jackie Ball. It is edited and mixed by Adam Yoffe. Our music is by Andrew Edwards. Our community manager is Anika Exum. And last, but certainly not least, our art director is my handsome husband, Ziwu Zhou.

Tyler Greene:

If you're digging the show, please, please, please tell a friend, cousin, coworker, neighbor, person at the grocery store. Help spread the good word. Write us. Leave a review, five stars. You all know the drill. Thank you so much for listening. I'm Tyler Greene, and until next time, stay beautiful and messy.

Tyler Greene:

Is the podcast all done, Sam?

Sam:

All done.